On a flight James bond was sitting next to a Telugu guy.
>
>
>
>
>
> Telugu Guy: "Hello, May I know your name please?"
>
>
>
>
>
> James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style,
>
>
> "......James Bond."
>
>
>
>
>
> Then Bond asks: "And you?"
>
>
>
>
>
> Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda Venkata Samba
>
>
> Siva Rao...
>
>
>
>
>
> Vijayawada Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Yarlagadda
>
>
> Venkata Samba Siva Rao..."
>
>
>
>
>
> Since then when anyone asks Bond his name he simply says "James
Bond"
Hi!
- Jayesh
- Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
- There are so many cool stuff found on net...just check it out
Mumbai
changing face of mumbai
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Imagine urself in sprite ad
Imagine ur self in a Sprite Ad
Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Night out Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!
You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ...
Your Colleague: Impression!!! Appraisal !!! ar appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks
You :Phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!
You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.
You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????
"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao."
Your Colleague: Hey!! Kya yahan baitha mail forward karta rahta hai yaar !! Naye packages dekh.... Naye language seekh. Night out Maar....Fundoo programming kar like me....! Do something cool man !!
You : Achha! To usse Kya hoga ...
Your Colleague: Impression!!! Appraisal !!! ar appraisal main tu No 1! Hike in salary !! Extra Stocks
You :Phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague : Project Leader ban jaayega..Phir Project Manager !!! Phir Business Manager ! One day U will be a Director of the Company man !!
You : Acchha to phir kya hoga...
Your Colleague : Abe phir tu aish karega! Koi kaam nahin karna padega ! Araam se office aayega aur MAIL check karega.
You : To ab main kya kar raha hoon????
"Dikhawe pe na jao, apni akal lagao."
Can u figure out what is common?
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
Give It Another Try….
OK… Here You Go… Hope You Didn’t Cheat.
This Is Cool.
SCROLL DOWN
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
Give It Another Try….
OK… Here You Go… Hope You Didn’t Cheat.
This Is Cool.
SCROLL DOWN
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?
can u figure out wht is common
Banana
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
Give It Another Try….
OK… Here You Go… Hope You Didn’t Cheat.
This Is Cool.
SCROLL DOWN
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?
Dresser
Grammar
Potato
Revive
Uneven
Voodoo
Are You Peeking Or Have You Already Given Up?
Give It Another Try….
OK… Here You Go… Hope You Didn’t Cheat.
This Is Cool.
SCROLL DOWN
Answer:
In all of the words listed, if you take the first letter, place it at
the end of the word, and then spell the word backwards, it will be
the same word.
Did you figure it out?
What were u thinking...
An 85-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, doc, it’s
like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen,
the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still
nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?” The old
man replied,
“Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn’t get the jar open.”
HaHaHa - What were you thinking?
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring
back a semen sample tomorrow.”
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and
gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: “Well, doc, it’s
like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing.
Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then her
left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, and still nothing. We even called up Arleen,
the lady next door and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit and she even tried squeezin’ it between her knees, but still
nothing.” The doctor was shocked! “You asked your neighbour?” The old
man replied,
“Yep. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn’t get the jar open.”
HaHaHa - What were you thinking?
How 2 answer n interview
A lot of people know how to write a resume and talk their way into an
interview. But when they get into the make or break dialogue, they
stumble upon tough questions. Below, is some advice on approaching the
tough questions that interviewers like to throw at job applicants:
Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were underutilized.
What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can’t concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all
forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I’m a workaholic. I just don’t know when to put
down my work.
You don’t seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you’ll
stay here any longer than you’ve stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only
competent employees..
What you should say: I’m at a point in my career where I am tired of
moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term
enterprise, where I can make a contribution.
For all those of u aiming for job switches……………
How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday, unless I’m out of clean underwear.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only
constant is change. I thrive on it.
How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my face.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the
workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.
What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don’t have to drag my sorry ass out of
bed to kiss yours.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a
difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable
enterprise.
What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.
That word is not in my vocabulary.
Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine, considering what kind of a malicious
person he is.
What you should say: I don’t think I’d call him a boss; he’s been more
of a mentor to me.
Do you ever get angry with co-workers?
Real answer: I don’t get angry, I get even.
What you should say: Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker
not pulling his weight, goofing off or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do
get angry with co-workers.
Can I contact your references?
Real answer: Sure, but they won’t know who I am.
What you should say: Some of them are out of the country right now.
Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.
interview. But when they get into the make or break dialogue, they
stumble upon tough questions. Below, is some advice on approaching the
tough questions that interviewers like to throw at job applicants:
Why did you leave your last job?
Real answer: It sucked.
What you should say: I felt my talents and abilities were underutilized.
What are your biggest weaknesses?
Real answer: I can’t concentrate for more than five minutes, hate all
forms of authority and tend to fall asleep at my desk.
What you should say: I’m a workaholic. I just don’t know when to put
down my work.
You don’t seem to hold on to a job long. Why should we think you’ll
stay here any longer than you’ve stayed elsewhere?
Real answer: My employers have always had a hang-up about keeping only
competent employees..
What you should say: I’m at a point in my career where I am tired of
moving around. I really want to feel part of a team, a long-term
enterprise, where I can make a contribution.
For all those of u aiming for job switches……………
How do you handle change?
Real answer: I deal with it everyday, unless I’m out of clean underwear.
What you should say: I think everyone knows that today the only
constant is change. I thrive on it.
How do you get along with others?
Real answer: Fine, as long as they stay out of my face.
What you should say: I think the interpersonal dynamics of the
workplace can be among the most satisfying aspects of any job.
What does the word success mean to you?
Real answer: It means that I don’t have to drag my sorry ass out of
bed to kiss yours.
What you should say: Success, for me, would be knowing I am making a
difference working with a team of people to make a more profitable
enterprise.
What does the word failure mean to you?
Real answer: It means I continue to collect unemployment insurance.
What you should say: Failure? I’m sorry, I don’t know what you mean.
That word is not in my vocabulary.
Do you get along with your current boss?
Real answer: I get along fine, considering what kind of a malicious
person he is.
What you should say: I don’t think I’d call him a boss; he’s been more
of a mentor to me.
Do you ever get angry with co-workers?
Real answer: I don’t get angry, I get even.
What you should say: Nothing angers me more than to see a co-worker
not pulling his weight, goofing off or stealing. Yes, sometimes I do
get angry with co-workers.
Can I contact your references?
Real answer: Sure, but they won’t know who I am.
What you should say: Some of them are out of the country right now.
Maybe I can arrange to have them contact you.
Stupid ques n stupid answers
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends…
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement.
We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating isensitive lout…it’s just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks…
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it’s a miracle …………it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia…..why don’t you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the “Butter Paneer Masala” good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement.
We occasionally also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you’ve become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you’re marrying good?
Answer:- No,he’s a miserable wife-beating isensitive lout…it’s just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping…. you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair…
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I’m shedding……
9. At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks…
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it’s a miracle …………it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)